Shroom Raider
by IHATEPREPS
Summary: Lara Croft may raid TOMBs, but her twin sister of the same name raids 'SHROOMS!


<="black">  'Shroom Raider

Disclaimer: I don't own Tomb Raider or Lara Croft. Also, if you want to use this over, I beg of you, **PLEASE** inform me by email, and then I can approve/disapprove the use of my fic, which isn't copyrighted by the way.

Credits: Chip, thanks for buying TR so I could do this, and BTW, love the shoes! Your CDs were really useful even though I broke the Mest one. . .**J/K!!!** Oh, and this fic was made entirely by Agent Shark. (me) Now let's begin.

Lara Croft, daughter of Lord Henshingly Croft, was raised to be an aristocrat from birth. 

*Yaaaaaaaaaawn* 

After moaning and griping her way through finishing school at the age of 21, Lara's forced marriage seemed to her a bit. . .forced. 

On her way home from a hike in a forest about 2 kilometers away, her chartered plane's pilot. . .uhh. . .let's just say he was not sober when he jumped out in midflight. 

Lara had been taking a nap and didn't even notice when the plane crashed deep in the heart of the video game world. The only survivors were Lara and Destiny's Child. 

Lara learned how to depend on her guns to stay alive in hosile conditions a world away from her BOOORING upbringing. Destiny's Child learned how to survive by wearing *ahem* skimpy clothing, which Lara's twin sister (also named Lara) later picked up on. 

Now, back to the other Lara. 

2 weeks later when she walked into the village of Toad Town her experiences had a profound effect on her. 

Unable to stay awake in finishing school, she realized that she was only truling alive when she was cooking mushrooms alone. Over the 8 following years she acquired a minimal knowledge of mushrooms across the globe. 

Her parents soon realized that mushrooms aren't that interesting, and Lara turned to mushroom collecting and cooking to fund her trips. 

Famed for cooking a better mushroom soup than Martha Stewart, she made a name for herself in the 'shroombiz. 

That name was "'Shroom Raider." 

After several more years, Lara was the ultimate expert on mushrooms. 

Unfortunately, her twin sister Lara I mentioned before, became more famous, which 'Shroom Raider thought was outrageous. All she did was shoot up some animals and discover some boring ancient artifacts. 

Lara sighed. 'Shrooms were way cooler than history. 

What Lara _didn't_ know was that one of the other reasons her sister was so famous, well, I asked my brother, and I guess people think more of a female game character if she is wearing *ahem!* a tank top and short shorts. (Sigh. . .) 

Anyways, Lara now lives happily in a small cottage made entirely of dried up mushrooms with her pet mushroom 'Shroomy. Actually, Lara tells me 'Shroomy's been kind of moldy recently. . . 

Also, the 'Shroom Raider herself has an amazing immune system- there is no mushroom she cannot eat, even the normally poisonous ones. 

Lara credits her long life to worshipping mushrooms, drinking a small cup of 'shroom wine each morning, smoking 'shroom cigars, and her diet of 'shrooms and 'shroomjuice. 

She talks fondly about the days when she travelled the world, cooking at home shows and finding new species of mushrooms to cook. 

The largest and most vicious 'shroom she ever tried to cook was the Giant 'Shroom. It was 20 centimeters high! Giant 'Shroom struggled and fought, said a few swears, and spit in Lara's eye, but she finally tamed the huge 'shroom. (using her guns previously mentioned) For reasons still unknown to 'Shroom Raider, the person who ate the mushroom claimed it tasted a lot like hot, steaming lead. . . 

A/N: Well, look at the time! I've already got a sci-fi thriller, Perfect Dark spoof, Eminem spoof, Grand Theft Auto spoof, anime-like story, and a just plain weird little thing I scribbled in my notebook all lined up to copy onto my PC, put on a disc, transport to my other PC, convert to HTML, and put up here! Busy, busy, busy! Oh, and this is my second fic ever, don't forget to review. But when you review it, please don't just say something like "It was nice I liked it," I want to know what you didn't like about it, okey-dokey?


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